It’s back to school season, the time of year that’s unpleasant for some, and glorious for others. I’ve always been one of those kids excited about going back to school. Getting an education was something I never took for granted. I also love being able to see my friends all the time. My theory growing up was that if you could manage having friends and doing well in school, you were doing everything you had to do to succeed.
Now here I am, in my junior year of college, and I found myself hesitant in coming back this time around. It’s not that I wasn’t excited to see all my friends again, or to see my professors, or to do the work (because I’m basically a professional multitasker now); I was actually scared to be a junior.
I remember someone saying to me this past summer, “Junior year, halfway there!” I cheered and laughed, but it wasn’t until later that it hit me. Halfway to graduation means I’m halfway to adulthood. I’m not ready to be an adult yet!
I didn’t realize how scared I was, not knowing exactly where I wanted to go in life. When you’re younger, you’re told what to do, and as you get older, you have to start making these decisions for yourself. I’m not older yet, but I’m getting there. I’m learning and taking classes on how to get where I would like to go, but I don’t have any specific profession picked out. I’ve always been a planner, and that’s what’s scaring me. I don’t want to plan the wrong life. I haven’t planned anything yet.
It took me a while to realize that it’s okay to panic and be scared. I might be “halfway to adulthood,” but I also have half of my college years left to learn and figure out where I want to go. Not knowing keeps me open to all kinds of possibilities I might never have considered, possibilities that I know I’ll find at the Mount.
Jade Hanley, class of 2015, is an English major from New Jersey.